Let The Dominoes Fall.

**Begin Transmission**

Hello,

Start of the NHL season is today!! Fuck man….took way to long it feels like!! I’m excited for this season and all the change is for the better I think!!

I’m still plugging away at school. Ordered a new book to learn from, one of my teachers recommended it to me. Challenging but anything that’s worth something in life is challenging to obtain.

Work is work…still slow.

Moving again….soon I think. My options are as follows.

1. Nick and Nicole’s
2. A cottage my mom’s friend is renting in Berkeley (I want this one).
3. Stay at my apt.

All of these options are going to be paid for by financial aid and THANK god for that.

I’ve been really lonely lately. Don’t know why…I attribute it to the new moon and changing of the season. That’s what I think but alas….HARDEN THE FUCK UP MORALES!!

My friend Mew had her baby!! I’m very excited and happy for her. I guess there were some complications. Scared me to death truth be told. Mew’s been trough a lot in the 7 years I’ve know her and she deserves good things!! I just talked we her and things sound like they are getting better. I’m very glad to hear this.

I noticed I’m overly distant with a lot of my friends and people I love. Sadly that I feel has had a negative effect on those relationships. I will now work very hard to change and rectify them. Sometimes getting lost in my own head isn’t a good thing.

Back to crunch time.

Stay safe.

-J

**End Transmission**

And I'm proud of me!!

Hello cyber world.

I got my GED!! WOOOOHOOOO!!! I'm happy with myself.

Some tough decisions needed to made and I made them.

I’m now a FULL time college student. Well starting December 3rd that is. A really new, wild & crazy chapter in my life is starting and I ready to face it with open arms.

I hope you are all doing well and being safe!!

- Johnny

Hayley Williams – Teenagers

Wanna make your sacrifice worthwhile

8th anniversary of 9/11. Thank you to all the heroes who live, lost there lives & there families. You all have really shown what's it is to be an American & I thank you for that. You remind me that life is hard....Harden the fuck up and live it!!

To the bastards to did this. I don't forgive you but hope that you find peace....with that said doesn’t mean I don't want you dead. Cause I do. And that peace you find…I hope it’s in hell.

BTW 8 years have passed. That's 2,920 days. There hasn't been a day for every life lost on 9/11/2001.

GOD BLESS ALL THE FALLEN ON 9/11/2001!!





Think about the love inside the strength of heart
Think about the heroes saving life in the dark
Climbing higher through the fire
Time was running out
Never knowing you weren't going to be coming down alive

But you still came back for me
You were strong and you believed

Everything is gonna be alright
Everything is gonna be alright
Everything is gonna be alright
Be strong believe

Be strong believe

Think about the chance I never had to say
Thank you for giving up your life that day
Never fearing only hearing voices calling out
Let it all go the life that you know
Just to bring them down alive

And you still came back for me
You were strong and you've believed

Everything is gonna be alright
Everything is gonna be alright
Everything is gonna be alright
Be strong believe

Everything is gonna be alright
Everything is gonna be alright
Everything is gonna be alright
Be strong believe
[radio voice]
again today,
we take into our hearts and mind
Those who perished on this site one year ago
and also,
those who came to toil in the rubble
To bring order out of chaos,
to help us make sense of Our despair

Wanna hold my wife when I get home
Wanna tell the kids they'll never know
How much I love to see them smile
Wanna make a change right here right now
Wanna live a life like you somehow
Wanna make your sacrifice worthwhile

Everything is gonna be alright
Everything is gonna be alright
Everything is gonna be alright
Be strong believe

Everything is gonna be alright
Everything is gonna be alright
Everything is gonna be alright
Be strong believe

Everything is gonna be alright
Everything is gonna be alright
Everything is gonna be alright
Be strong believe
(background voice):Think about the love inside the strength of heart
Think about the heroes saving lives in the dark

Everything is gonna be alright
Everything is gonna be alright
Everything is gonna be alright
Be strong believe
(background voice):Think about the chance I never had to say
Thank you for giving up your life that day

(radio voice): The world will little note, nor long remember what we say here, but it can never forget what they did here.

Yeah fuck you too!!

I did it!! I'm on fire (alive?)!!

Howdy,

Its hard to write, I feel horrible and trying not to lose too much energy. I'm suffering from a summer cold/flu.

Last Thursday's meeting went GREAT!! I'm an official college student!! My start date is in October and I'm really excited!! A lot is going to change but it's all for the better. NO RETREATS, NO REGRETS!! I’m going to get that tattooed on my hands.

Ok next is part one of GED tonight. I’m worn out and tired but I gotta battle thru. Perseverance is the name of the game. I’m going to kick that test’s ass…sick or not sick.

I’m out people.

- Johnny Morales.

The Gaslight Anthem - I'm on fire (live)

Clear eyes, full hearts, CAN’T LOSE!!

Today is my final meeting for college; I’m officially applying to go to Ex'Pression. I have my sit down with the dean and the Admission's board this afternoon. I’m also meeting them for my scholarship, I’m going to get it and my schooling will be covered!! Not too bad for a high school drop out, don’t you think?

Next week is the GED test and I will kick its fracking ass!! I have been hitting the books hard! So watch out!!

To my friends reading (if anyone ever dose); you have all supported me so MUCH over the past year and I’m SOOO grateful for you all!! It’s good to know my true friends from the snakes in the grass. You all know I hate snakes and would rather choose spending my life alone than surround myself with fakes. I’ve spent too much of my life over the past 3 years with the fakes, I’m done. You are my family and I love you all. From the bottom of my heart, Thank you and I will not let any of you down. I will not let myself down.

RED FUCKING DRAGONS!!

I’m college bound fuckers!!!

-John Morales

RED DRAGON!

this is going to be a BIG week for my future. All I got to say is HELLO FUTURE ME!!!

You can blame it all on me, Terry, it don't matter to me now

{Begin Transmission}

I’m getting pretty burnt out on work lately, I just wanna start school. Hell I’m tempted to move out of my apt and move in with Nick & Nicole. Then I could got to school full time. Work a side job for rent n such. I’m ready for the change, it’s needed really. Proof that life still exsi

I stopped taking my meds. Its been about a month now. I’m doing really well with out them, No complaints. Only thing is I’m tired all the time lol. But I started working out hard core again. Back to the grind, was supposed to have my first fight this month. But with all of the ER visits, I thought it would be best to hold off on it. :(

Sharon and I haven’t talked in about 2 months now. Surprised?? I am…it’s sad to me. Make’s me feel like a not so wonderful son.

I know this lovely young lady…she’s pretty cool, funny and witty. Pretty too. A vast improvement in my taste’s. Oi to me.

I’m out.

Take care.

Inferno.

{End Transmission}

Brian Fallon - Backstreets - Bruce Springsteen Cover

GO WINGS!!

Never thought I would say that...but FUCKIN DESTROY THE PENS!!!

Sidney Crosby is acting like a classless player. It's annoying that the NHL allows him to get away with SOO damn much. It's not enough that he jumps players, cry's about the way people celebrate goals and dive his way around the ice but to take cheap shops at players at the end of games??

Come on and show some class. Supposed to be a role model for kids and the poster boy of the NHL. Bring in more fair weather fans.

Don't get me wrong, he's a great hockey player. Great on ice vision, battles and shows some heart.

If the Sharks fail (over and over), I want the cup staying in the West. As this say "this is how the west was won!"

Expect more awesome hockey!! Both teams played really well but the better will win. I will write a new article on Bleachreport.com about tonight's game and the 2nd coming of god (Sid the Kid).

Keep your feet on the ground.

- J.J.M.

the sins of the past!

Well, I wonder which song they're gonna play when we go. I hope it's something quiet and minor and peaceful and slow.

Begin Transmission.

Hello; What I’m writing today…is hard and painful to write about. But I'm ready to write it. Cause I'm a writer.

Writing cause it’s going to be a tuff birthday this year. Some of you know that a friend of mine died this time last year. Well on May 25th, my brother, Erin (13) and I found Tyler and Russ. The accident had already happened and Russell was in bad shape (he was injury free). Tyler passed away.

It’s very odd to me to think back to a year ago, so much was different. I remember the drive home from Gerlach, the morning after the accident. I haven’t really shared too many details about this part of what happened to anyone just…because I wanted them to be my moments. I will never forget, 8:45 am & I’m running off 1hr sleep (I wouldn’t call it real sleep), coffee & cigarettes. I’m half having panic attacks and the other half just wants’ to be with the people I loved at the time. I driving and there’s nothing in sight but Nevada desert & rain clouds coming in the distance. At this one moment I had no cell reception, no way of communicating with the outside world at all. This moment I needed to pull over, I was starting to get really emotional. I was thinking about what just happened; Tyler died 4 hours ago. I just wanted to hold Lily & kiss her and the feelings were the same for some other person. I just wanted to be with them; at this moment I was so scared. I needed them to tell me I wasn’t gone, I didn’t lose them & they didn’t lose me. I was listening to Paramore at the time & Hallelujah just came on. This song will never leave this memory. I got out of my car on the side of the road and broke down. I started punching the side of my car….I don’t know why really. I was so scared, angry and still in shock. Than all for some reason I notice the line “this time I’m not giving up, I’m going to make this last forever”. These lyrics came out of know where and cut threw me like a hot knife.

The next 6 hours we’re spent driving, pulling over (due to not being in the perfect driving condition), just hearing the sounds, smelling the smell & replaying the events from just a few hours before.

I’m not going to begin to say I understand what happened, why this kind of person was taken so young but my brother’s friend said it best “sometimes crazy young guys die”. And that’s what happened.

I’m accepting of this a lot more today. I only hope that Tyler knows that I’m sorry for not acting, for not getting out of that bunk and maybe doing something that may have…help, eased, or simply supported him. I’m sorry Tyler; I owed the kindness and friendship you showed me in the short amount of time we spent together a lot more than that. I know you understand & I know you know the penance I bear from it. You know the chains I’m going to be feeling the most of my life.

I was never your best friend. I didn’t know you too long.

I really wish I could have been.

So on Monday May 25th, I will be raising a glass to you my friend. I hope you will be there to share it with me.



Keep you’re feet on the ground friends.

-John J Morales.

End Transmission.

The Gaslight Anthem – The 59 Sound. Just listen and you will know why this song is here.

ER...not again??

Begin transmission.

Monday was spent in the ER. This time I had a really bad asthma attack and turns out I have acute bronchitis. The doctor said it was turning into Pneumonia. SCARY x 10!!! I haven’t had something like this happen for a VERY long time. Last time when I was 8ish?? Driving myself there sucked and was scary too!!

But I'm doing a lil better. I can breathe easer and talk again. I'm on a bunch of steroids. lol.

News on the college front. $12,000 dollars of my tuition is covered!! WOWZERS!! That’s a lot!! Now to come up with the rest…not to worried….I have a lot of scholarships to apply for.

It’s gonna happen; I’m the next Rudy.

Back to the grind.

If I die....some of you are in my will. Enjoy the thing you get fuckers. :)

The Inferno.

End Transmission.

Phoenix - Girlfriend

Cause now I know it's all that I wanted.

Begin transmission.

To all,

Studying for GED; test is in a month. I got to make it count and score high! Excited, my pal’s Phil, Luca, Ashley, Jaimee and my brother said they are all proud of me!! Thanks guys and gals it means a lot. I’m proud of me; no male figure taught me how to be. I learned on my own. I’m new and improved.

Next are the art classes. Staring them too. EXCITED!!! Got a drafting table for my bday.

New tattoo soon, I’ll put a photo. Going to go see my brother, going to drink to a fallen friend.

-Inferno

End Transmission.

Green Day- Macy's Day Parade

The good, the bad and ur ugly.

Begin transmission.

A quick one for you.

The Good: I’m getting accepted to Expression Center for New Media. Animation & Visual Affects here I come.

The Bad: I got stabbed in the shin…..yes with a knife. 1.5 inch deep wound. Sucks and is very painful. I’m doing ok. It was a freak accident and my fault. If I see you and care enough to tell you the details...then I will. If not. Well I was attacked by a Pit Viper.

Later people; Be Safe,

Inferno.

End transmission.

Dizzy yet?

Begin Transmission

Hello.

I haven’t written much lately. Why?

Nothing to write about.

Now? Something to write about.

1. Getting diploma in 2 weeks (maybe a lil longer but not my much).
2. I’m applying to Ex’pression for New Media. I should be starting in the fall.
3. I love life.

Last blog for a wile.

Love you all. Be safe.

-The Inferno.

End Transmission.

Hey you, turn this up loud, dance and smile. Please cause this is the very last time.




You close your eyes and kiss your hand, then you blow it
But it isn't meant for me… and I notice
If the choice was ours alone
Then why did we both choose letting go?
Does it end like this?

Time never had a chance to heal your heart
Just a number always counting down to a new start
If you always knew the truth
Then the world would spin around you
Are you dizzy yet?

(Chorus)
Respectfully, some honesty I'm a new calling out
Do you hear this conversation we talk about?
Back away to the safety of a quiet house
If there's a half a chance in this moment, when your eyes meet mine, we show it off

(Verse 2)
All talk not a lot to think we were living dreams
Shame never crept close to our naked feet
If there's something left to lose
Then don't let me wear out my shoes
I'm still walking

I tried, but it rang and rang, I called all night
On a pay phone, remember those from another life?
If everything I meant to you,
You can lick and seal then fold in two then I've been so blind

(Chorus)
Respectfully, some honesty I'm asking now
Do you hear the conversation we talk about?
Back away to safety of a quiet house
If there's half a chance in this moment
When your eyes meet mine, we show it off

(Bridge)
(Oh, Oh) take it all back take the first, your last, your only
(Oh, Oh) take it all back take it all back everything you showed me
(Oh, Oh) this must be how it feels when the feeling goes (Ooh)

I told you as I hovered I'd never felt this way
You said: "I had the shot that stops my clock, baby it's ok"
You said you'd never have regrets
Jesus! Is there someone yet who got that wish?
Did you get yours? Babe?

(Chorus)
Respectfully, some honesty I'm asking now
Do you hear the conversation we talk around?
Back away to the safety of a quiet house
If there's half a chance in this moment...
When your eyes meet mine we show it off.

speaks for itself.

Death to cowards, traitors, and empty words
To those adorned with the touch of rose petals
And the blessed gift of forgetfulness
For these are your years and days to outshine
Push on and soar higher
This is your memory
Your everything and the inbetween
Push on and soar higher

like a blank post it note.

Hi.

I've been feeling very..I dont know the correct word's to express it. I just know it's different.

I dont know if I like it.

Sometimes I just wish something bigger would happen. Something...I can't explain it.

Why try then?

I just need to go work out...go get it out of me. I won 12 free skate lessions!! Hopefully this time next year I will be on a minor leauge team. Exciting!!

Later.

-J

Song of the day - Killers - All these things that I've done.

just one of those day.

I felt for sure last night
That once we said goodbye
No one else will know these lonely dreams
No one else will know that part of me
I'm still driving away
And I'm sorry every day
I won't always love these selfish things
I won't always live...
Not stopping...

It was my turn to decide
I knew this was our time
No one else will have me like you do
No one else will have me, only you

You'll sit alone forever
If you wait for the right time
What are you hoping for?
I'm here I'm now I'm ready
Holding on tight
Don't give away the end
The one thing that stays mine

Amazing still it seems
I'll be 23
I won't always love what I'll never have
I won't always live in my regrets

Broken Vow

I forgot how much I like Converge....now I remember.

ENJOY!

-j





Those nights we had and the trust we lost
The sleep that fled me and the heart I lost
It all reminds me
Just how callous and heartless the true cowards are
And I write this for the loveless
And for the risks we take
I'll take my love to the grave
As tired and worn it is
I'l take my love to the graave

And I was broken for a long time.

I was broke
I was tired now I'm [bound]
My head is off the ground
For a long time I was so weary
Time will decide, but before
No one loves the nighttime at the door
[Hope she] finds things I've [deemed]
Something between the burning light and the dusty shade

Said I used to think the past was dead and gone
But I was wrong, so wrong
Whatever makes makes you strong, makes you strong
And by time I'm melting into many forms
From the day that I was born
And I know that there is no place to hide
Something between the burning shade and the faded light

And I was broken for a long time
But it's over now
Said I was broken for a long time
But it's over now
Said I was broken for a long time
But it's over now

Yes you, yeah you walk these lonely streets and people stare
People stare
Now some fool just got [near]
And I do pretend
Now I'm free from all the things that saved my friends
And I was [debted] to the end
Now I know I can change the mood
Something between the burning shade and the faded light

And I was broken for a long time
But it's over now, it's over now
Mm it's over now, now, now
It's over now, it's over now.
It's over now, now, now

Said I was broken for a long time
But it's over, but it's over
But it's over, but it's over
But it's over, but it's over
But it's over now, now, now, now
But it's over, love is over
But it's over now
But it's over, love is over
But it's over now, now, now
I was broken for a long time yeah
But it's over, but it's over now yeah
Over now, it's all over, it's over now.

today's song of the day.

I should never think
What's in your heart
What's in our home
So I Won't

You'll learn to hate me
But still call me baby
Oh Love
So call me by my name

And save your soul
save your soul
Before you're too far gone
Before nothing can be done

I'll try to decide where
She'll lie in the end
I ain't got no fight in me
In this whole damn world
Tell you to hold off
You choose to hold on
It's the one thing that I've known

Once I put my coat on
I'm coming out of this all wrong
She's standing outside holding me
Saying oh please
I'm in love
I'm in love

Girl save your soul
Go on save your soul
Before it's too far gone
And before nothing can be done

'Cause without me
You got it all
So hold on
Without me you got it all
So hold on
Without me you got it all
Without me you got it all
So hold on
Without me you got it all
So hold on
Without me you got it all
So hold on
Hold on

I look to the sky where my help comes from.

Good weekend.

Good friends, I like to call them family. Brother came into town. Good to see him...I need him around more.

I have decided to quit drinking & smoking. I have been lazy lately...need to step it up.

Back to the grind....take care of myself. 2 injuries to report, two torn ligaments in my right knee & I pulled my muscle in my left arm. Not the worst injuries....I can still train. Need to be careful tho.

Got a sick bug but I'm getting over it. THANK GOD!

Later fuckers.

-J

The Road And The Damned

Today is the end of the move.

I’m happy & sad @ the same time. So I thought I would express these feeling threw music…if you haven’t noticed I do that a lot. Lol

So this is about today…well…for me anyway.



I believe in the world right in front of me,
but now, along these empty streets
where this curse holds these memories of a man,
you know he's lost.

No time to think about it. No room to breathe.

If I had a way back, I'd ride through the dark and the door
(but please don't wait for me)
because the man you love don't live anymore.
I can't go home again.

Tonight you'll sleep.
You'll feel what might become of me, my dear.
Within these end old days where this longing turns
this man to pray and a love begins to die.

No time to live in the deep, girl,
I'm worth the second chance. (What have I done?!)
No time to think about it, no room to breathe!

If I had a way back, I'd ride through the dark and the door
(but please don't wait)
because the man you love don't live anymore.
I can't go home again.

I believed in the world, once in front of me, well, now that's gone.

If I had the way back, I'd ride through the dark and the door
(but please don't wait for me)
because the man you love don't live anymore.

I can't go home again.

Bye, goodbye. Bye, my dear.

THIS SONG IS THE HOT SHIT!!

Thanks Tony for playing this for me!! Hols Shit is it good!!



Animal Collective - My Girls

Is it much that I feel I need
A solid soul and the blood I bleed
With a little girl, and by my spouse
I only want a proper house

I don't care for fancy things
Or to take part in a precious race
And children cry for the one who has
A real big heart and a father's grace

I don't mean to seem like I care about material things like a social status
I just want four walls and adobe slabs for my girls

Not without a fight!

This weekend was a VERY good weekend!!

Relaxing & calm.

I’m still adjusting to being a weekend Dad….I don’t really like it at al BUT I’m making the best of it. Lily, Phil & I went for ice cream on Saturday. She’s ate a WHOLE cup of ice cream. I was surprised cause she normally only has part of it……BUT she really wanted ice cream all day.

All weekend my two favorite Lifestyle Enthusiasts (Phil & Luca) hung out a lot. Also saw Ashley & Tommie. Love them two peeps.

Saturday I talked to a long lost friend. It’s been YEARS when we talked last. It was REALLY cool to talk to her. Hopefully we can get together & catch up. I have some many fond memories of the random, crazy adventures we would go on. She was always a wild one. It’s funny how life brings people in & out of your life so quickly. Sometimes I don’t understand it but I wont fight it anymore…..It was Grouch who said “Life is more than twice as hard when your fighting the flow. & I can go toe to toe with the man in the mirror but I rather work threw the pain & land in the clear.”

Respect it fuckers.

Going to finish the move today…..KIND of scary still but I’m ready to put that place & everything that was there in the past. Sometime’s when I go into my old room; I feel like screaming “pack your shit & leave, take my memories of her FUCKING with you!!” Oven & over. I was thinking to myself yesterday about how hard it is to leave all those great things behind, to make your own new memories. It’s SOOO exciting to be able to have this time in my life. Yes, it’s scary but I’m happy. I’m ok. Recently I was called a “coward” well those word’s weren’t used but I know what was meant. I’m not a coward. I may be a lot of things but a coward is not one of them. I don’t “run” from situations, I do what is best for me & Lily. That’s all. I step up to the plate & I may strike out but at least I’m honest with myself & everyone around me.

I’m a real man…..so fuck you. 

RED DRAGONS!!!

-j

Peep the new NFG album!! Hella good!!!

New Found Glory - Such A Mess



It's too far back now
To remember just how much you played
A role in causing confusion in my brain
My nerves are tied announce my mind is (?)

Running with the seconds
Recollections of the past
Make me such a mess (such a mess)
I need to pull my self together and let it out
Pull my self together and let it out
Pull my self together and let it out

It's too far back now
To remember just how much you
Took control of the situation
In the first place, everything seemed fine
You followed right along

Losing face with the hours
Photographs of our best moments make me such a mess (such a mess)
I need to pull my self together and let it out

Pull my self together and let it out
Pull my self together and let it out
Pull my self together and let it out
Pull my self together and let it out

It was another night
I'm sinking deeper and I'm out of time
I can't erase you from my mind
(I can't erase you from my mind!)

It was another night
I'm sinking deeper and I'm out of time
(I can't erase you from my mind!)

Oh let it out
Pull my self together and let it out
I've gotta pull my self together

well said...very true.

Stay with me to guide this dream,
Before they bury me.
I'll be waiting up all night for you,
In a nightmare that was made for me.
Stay with me to guide this dream,
Before they bury me.
I'll be waiting up all night for you,
In a nightmare that was made for me

Weight, kind, depression.

It's dark, morbid, some can say too much. But I know you will enjoy loyal readers.

Won’t you?

I can’t wait for Neverender….this child of the fence will be happy!

-j

In the final curtain call,
You left me here with the coldest of feelings,
Weight, kind, depression,
Blessing the floors with the places you've stepped in.

Will they ever measure up,
To the way you left me here by the roadside,
The bloodiest cadaver,
Marked in your words, I'm the joke, I'm the bastard.

Here, wait, so I guess that you knew,
That you're a selfish little whore,
I'm the selfish little whore,
If I had my way I'd crush your face in the door.

This is no beginning, yeah, yeah, yeah,
This is the final cut, open up.
This is no beginning, yeah, yeah, yeah,
This is the final cut, I'm not in love.

Revenge of the words!

It wakes me up and shakes my bones
It makes me miss my friends
You wasted days, I hung my head
I wore these blinders
So I'll hide from you

You can hear the sound
When walls break down
You wasted my days
Building on shaky ground
You can't carry on
When walls break down
Such wasted days
Building on shaky ground

Sitting face to face, tides will rise
Our light is in your eyes
I will be heard, My voice is strong
You shamed yourself
And I'm done with you

This is your life you led
This is my life you bled

I've got bills to pay
Taxman on my tail
Just keep prayin' that
the check's in the mail

There are times it seems
when everything's lost
and I'm moaning, I'm tossed
and I see..

between the river and the ravens I'm fed
between oblivion and the blazes I'm led
So father give me faith, providence and grace
Between the river and ravens I'm fed
Sweet deliver, oh you lift up my head
and lead me in your way

I've grown sick and tired
of trying to stand still
I've learned to let the wind
pull me where it will

Throw myself into
the will of the wait
I can never be great
'til we're free

between the river and the ravens I'm fed
between oblivion and the blazes I'm led
So father give me faith, providence and grace
Between the river and ravens I'm fed
Sweet deliver, oh you lift up my head
and lead me in your way

Although I'm walking through
the valley of the shadow of death
evils all around
It's coming from the right and the left

Trust that I will see
the glory above
Oh, your banner of love
flies over me

between the river and the ravens I'm fed
between oblivion and the blazes I'm led
So father give me faith, providence and grace
Between the river and ravens I'm fed
Sweet deliver, oh you lift up my head
and lead me in your way

"I ain't got no fight in me"

So Phil & Luca have been trying to get me to read Twilight. In turn I refuse to do so.

As we have been hanging out a lot lately, Luca ALWAYS end’s up putting on this song. I didn’t know who it was, what it’s from, nothing about it.

Alas, it’s from that damned Twilight movie but this song is really nice. I feel no sort of attachment at all to it but it’s been stuck in my head. This cat has a really great voice. Alot of soul behind it.

I really like it & I know I’m late to the party but……better late than never.

Thought I’d share.




I should never think
What's in your heart
What's in our home
So I Won't

You'll learn to hate me
But still call me baby
Oh Love
So call me by my name

And save your soul
save your soul
Before you're too far gone
Before nothing can be done

I'll try to decide where
She'll lie in the end
I ain't got no fight in me
In this whole damn world
Tell you to hold off
You choose to hold on
It's the one thing that I've known

Once I put my coat on
I'm coming out of this all wrong
She's standing outside holding me
Saying oh please
I'm in love
I'm in love

Girl save your soul
Go on save your soul
Before it's too far gone
And before nothing can be done

'Cause without me
You got it all
So hold on
Without me you got it all
So hold on
Without me you got it all
Without me you got it all
So hold on
Without me you got it all
So hold on
Without me you got it all
So hold on
Hold on

Wanna drop me, gotta kill me, only way I'ma stop

Ahh….long weekend over, time to try & relax. LOL….yeah right. I don’t really do that much.

Friday was cool the gang stopped by for some beers, I really enjoy having them all near by…..it’s A LOT of fun. Lily is in love with Luca…its pretty cute. She LOVE’S it when he’s around. It’s so cute that everyone LOVE’S it when she’s around.

Saturday, Was at Wonder Con. I worked & just walked around. I didn’t buy anything…..wasn’t really looking to. Can’t afford it. I hung out with Tommy & LJ most of the time. I had a chance to meet a pretty gal…Hmmmm interesting developments. We’ll see where that goes.

Saw Kamecia & Kyle but didn’t get a chance to say hi. I didn’t really want to be a dick/see to the ex…..& I prefer to think she doesn’t exist. I like it better that way. Almost had to thou, almost walked into the line I was working. I just went & took a piss. Figured that my piss is more important these days. Little to mean?? I don’t give a rat’s ass so fuck off.

Sunday, Guys came by. Lily went to her mom’s. I chilled at home had a few beers. Lisa (Mario’s GF) came & picked me up. Went out for a few drinks, the whole gang showed up, Ashley & Tommy, Phil & Luca, Lisa & her sister & myself. Was some fun times. Ashley wants to bring back Wednesday bar nights. I support that. Sounds like fun. I walked home in the rain & loved every moment of it. It was VERY relaxing.

Well gotta run.

Gonna get back to the grind!

-J

DJ DJ by Transplants. My own little personal “motto” song. Live it, Love it, Feel it mother fucker!!




Nobody move, nobody get hurt, they said
Make one wrong move, man, you wake up dead
I exercise my lyrical stylings
And all the while you're dead and gone and forgotten
I said, oh, are they gonna come back for you?
No, aw, the story's sorry but true
Lord, did you really want them to go?
No, oh you're so goddamn cold

We're gonna make it on our own, we don't need anyone
Lord knows we don't need you [x2]

(watch me now)
You got your ear to the street, then this bud's for you
You got my name in your mouth, then this slug's for you
Shotgun, Fast Lane, on the Highway to Hell
Sherm sticks, tall cans, and the powder that sells
Just tryin' to have somethin', and you sit back and laugh
I'ma grab something, I'ma gettin' that half
We came too far now, nowhere we can flop
Wanna drop me, gotta kill me, only way I'ma stop

We got 808 subwoofers in the trunk
Around the world with the Rancid Punx
This is for the misfits, the freaks and the runts
Fuck the motherfuckin' back-stabbin' cunts
Ride's gettin' rough, so I know I better buckle
P U N X tattooed on my knuckles
Hey man, you keep the shackles, cause I am free

We're gonna make it on our own, we don't need anyone
Lord knows we don't need you [x2]

(watch me now)
I heard you're losing your mind, shit, I been lost mine
But I still stay focused through good and bad times
Compare your worst fuckin' day to my best fuckin' night
I bet my last red cent that you couldn't stand the sight
From loss of loved ones to life of drug funds
They counted me out, from what? I'm not done
Give me a chance to shine and I'm a blind the world
Take a stand and be the voice of those who cannot be heard

Find the meaning in the moment.

It's time to weed out the weak, do away with their lives
I see it so clear now, through my open eyes
Stood by your side, you put a knife in my back
Never ever thought it'd be you who would do me like that
But we live and we learn, or so it's said
One thing about you, I can't wait till you're dead
The mistakes I've made won't happen again
Keep my enemies closer than I keep my friends

It's got me fucked up, I just can't let it go
Will we ever be the same? Well my answer is no
Think about your death every goddamn day
Wanna know what I think? This is what I must say
I say we line 'em all up, then we gun 'em all down
Then we all celebrate when they all hit the ground
Don't wake up now, it's gonna be too late
Don't give me that shit about cleaning the slate
You've been at it too long, all your life that I've checked
Now your time's almost up with a noose on your neck
Smile in my face, better watch your back
Two-faced motherfucker gets both jaws cracked

Great expectations, we had the greatest expectations

Mary, this station is playing every sad song.
I remember like we were alive.
I heard it Sunday morn' from inside of these walls.
In a prison cell, where we spent those nights.
And they burnt up the diner where I always used to find her.
Licking young boys blood from her claws.
And I learned about the blues from this kitten I knew.
Her hair was rabid and her heart was like a tomb.
My heart's like a wound.

I saw daylights last night and I dreamed about my first wife.
Everybody leaves and I'd expect as much from you.
I saw daylights last night and I dreamed about my whole life.
Everybody leaves, so why, why wouldn't you?

Mary, I worried and stalled every night of my life.
Better safe than making the party.
And I never had a good time, I sat my bedside, with papers and poetry about Astella.
Great expectations, we had the greatest expectations

I saw daylights last night and In a dream about my first wife.
Everybody leaves and I'd expect as much from you.
I saw daylights last night and I dreamed about my whole life.
Everybody leaves, so why, why wouldn't you?

It's funny how the night moves.
Humming a song from 1962.
We were always waiting... always waiting.
We were always waiting for something to happen.

I saw daylights last night and In a dream about my first wife.
Everybody leaves and I'd expect as much from you.
I saw daylights last night and I dreamed about my whole life.
Everybody leaves, so why, why wouldn't you?

Today I feel horrible about everything.

Had my first panic attack in a long time, I also haven’t taken my meds in a few days. Ran out & can’t afford to get refills. Shit I can’t afford anything right now. Rent, Daycare, living, anything. I can’t even afford to go to the doctor to get me knee, jaw & ear fixed.

I’m so beyond fucked but it’s my fault. I bit off more than I can chew & have no one to turn to for help. I’m too embarrassed to talk to anyone, to ask advice...anything.

I simply don’t know what to do.

I just want to crawl in a hole & die. That’s it.

Never to be seen again.

Have a good fracking afternoon John.

yesterday.

I thought I saw you yesterday but I didn't stop cuz you was walkin' the opposite way.
I guess I coulda' shouted out your name but even if it was you I don't know what I would say.
We could sit and reminesce about the old school. Maybe share a cigarette cuz were both fools. Chop it up and compare perspectives.
Life, love, stress and setbacks yes.
You could tell me how hard you had it. And you can show me all the scars to back it. And we can analyze each complaint. Break it down and explain these mistakes I make.
I like to tangle up the strings of the puppetry but you knew me back when I was a younger me.
You've seen John in all types of light and I've been meanin' to ask you if I'm doin' alright.

Yesterday was that you? Looked just like you. Strange things my imagination might do.
Take a breathe, reflect on what we've been through or am I goin' crazy cuz I miss you?
Yesterday was that you? Looked just like you. Strange things my imagination might do.
Take a breathe, reflect on what we've been through or am I goin' crazy cuz I miss you?

I'm shook, I know. I pushed when I shoulda' pulled. Took it all back if I could. I put that on my soul.
And I would make a top-notch good listener and keep the block off a little time to give it here.
Since we went our seperate paths I've hit a couple of snags that remind me of the past. I can't front, I'm having a blast. But damned if I ain't afraid of how long it's gonna last. Sittin' here wishin' we could kick it. Givin' me your opinions. I do miss the criticisms.
I didn't mean to be distant. Make a visit. I wait up and keep the coffee brewin' in the kitchen.
But who am I jokin' with? There's no way that you and I will ever get to re-open it.
It doesn't matter this is more than love and maybe if I'm lucky get to see you out the corner of...

Yesterday was that you? Looked just like you. Strange things my imagination might do. Take a breathe, reflect on what we've been through or am I just goin' crazy cuz I miss you?
Yesterday was that you? Looked just like you. Strange things my imagination might do. Take a breathe, reflect on what we've been through or am I just goin' crazy cuz I miss you?

And when you left I didn't see it coming. I guess I slept. It ain't like you was runnin. You crept out the front door slow and I was so self absorbed I didn't even know. And by the time I looked up it was booked up. Put it all behind you the bad and the good stuff.
A whole house full of dreams and steps. I think you'd be impressed with the pieces I kept. You disappeared but the history is still here. That's why I try not to cry over spilled beer. I can't even get mad that you gone. Leavin' me was probably the best thing you ever taught me.
I'm sorry.
It's official.
I was a fist-full.
I didn't keep it simple.
Chip on the shoulder. Anger in my veins. Has so much hatred now it brings me shame. Never thought about the world without you and I promise that I'll never say another bad word about you.
I thought I saw you yesterday.

Looked just like you. Strange things my imagination might do. Take a breathe, reflect on what we've been through. Or am I just goin crazy cuz I miss you?

if i get any more stressed I'm going to vomit all over myself then collect said vomit & coke on it.

till i die.

the end.

But I'd rather be working for a paycheck, Than waiting to win the lottery.

This is the first day of my life
Swear I was born right in the doorway
I went out in the rain, suddenly everything changed
They're spreading blankets on the beach

Yours was the first face that I saw
I think I was blind before I met you
I don't know where I am, I don't know where I've been
But I know where I want to go

So I thought I'd let you know
That these things take forever, I especially am slow
But I realized how I need you
And I wondered if I could come home

Remember the time you drove all night
Just to meet me in the morning?
And I thought it was strange, you said everything changed
You felt as if you just woke up

And you said
"This is the first day of my life
Glad I didn't die before I met you
Now I don't care, I could go anywhere with you
And I'd probably be happy"

So if you want to be with me
With these things there's no telling
We'll just have to wait and see
But I'd rather be working for a paycheck
Than waiting to win the lottery

Besides, maybe this time is different
I mean, I really think you like me

Ok I'm a 14 year old girl apparently.

Cause I LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE this song!!!

Why is it so damn catchy?





How can I decide what's right
When you're clouding up my mind?
I can't win your losing fight
All the time.

Nor can I ever own what's mine
When you're always taking sides
But you won't take away my pride.
No, not this time.
Not this time.

How did we get here?
Well, I used to know you so well.
But how did we get here?
Well, I think I know.

The truth is hiding in your eyes
And it's hanging on your tongue.
Just boiling in my blood.
But you think that I can't see
What kind of man that you are,
If you're a man at all.
Well, I will figure this one out
On my own.
(I'm screaming, "I love you so.")
On my own.
(My thoughts you can't decode)

How did we get here?
Well, I used to know you so well, yeah.
But how did we get here?
Well, I think I know.

Do you see what we've done?
We've gone and made such fools
Of ourselves.
Do you see what we've done?
We've gone and made such fools
Of ourselves.

Yeah. Yeah.

How did we get here?
Well, I used to know you so well, yeah, yeah.
How did we get here?
Well, I used to know you so well.
I think I know.
I think I know.

There is something I see in you.
It might kill me.
I want it to be true.

he's writing again.

Two songs in the works. Very country/folk style.

Please see lyrics below.

Song 1. Titled: I like it when it rains.

V1:
An empty static on the screen, don't mind me.
I got a one way ticket, some place called home.
I'm just dying to see, dying to breath.

You've got nothin to offer me babe.
All the made up hope's, our so called dreams.
Mean's nothing to me.

Honestly your lost to me, to lost to see.

Chours:
Take one last look now, my darlin.
Angels wings don't interest me.
Tell all you're friends it was just a dream.
Cold sweats & all those fears, was just a dream.
One bad dream.

V2:
Empty photos & long rides home with me, heavy heart.
For reasons unknown, so selfish to see, me standing on Main St.
And I shout "all the kids were right".
So long, good night.
And I shout " this ain't right"


Chours:
Take one last look now, my darlin.
Angels wings don't interest me.
Tell all you're friends it was just a dream.
Cold sweats & all those fears, was just a dream.
One bad dream.

Bridge:
I gotta a new face now with nothing to prove.
Rapture burnt my heart in two.
I can't wait for you to see the stronger me.
The one that walks away.
Is it easy, is it easy, is it easy.
Well it is for me.

Chours:
Take one last look now, my darlin.
Angels wings don't interest me.
Tell all you're friends it was just a dream.
Cold sweats & all those fears, was just a dream.
One bad dream.

On too song #2. This one is a work in progress. Needs more lyrics. This is what I got so far.

Titled: There's a hole in my bucket.

V1:
Well there's a hole in my heart
An I don't miss it, I don't miss it.

Well there's a hole in my soul
But I don't need it, I don't need it.

Chours:

There's a hole in my bucket, my bucket.
Well there's a hole in my bucket, my bucket.
& I'll fix it with you.

hahahaha makes me think.

make sure to listen close. You might miss the little message.

yeah you.

This is really cool!!

What I would give to see him in teal!!

This is amazing. AO has got to be the best goal scorer in the NHL. Crosby, Malkin, Lecavalier, Kane, Iginla, Thornton, ECT are all really good but this guy can blow all of them out of the water.

Best player in the league.

Followed by Big Joe of course!!

A weekend warrior.

Yep. I'm now a weekend only dad.

Feel's soooo fucking great.

(Please make note that sarcasm is being used.)

Song of the morning Cold - Gone Away (A Song For Starr). I know what you meen man, i feel it.



Do you pray in the night?
Can you appreciate the winds?
And I won't care, or fight.
I need you close to sing, it's the same beginning

Gone away,
It's the same old, same old song
Gone away,
It's my whole life in words

And I can't breathe when you cry
But I'll be there to hold you tight
And I would kill, I would fight
To keep you close, I keep singing the same way
I won't live if you died
If I could feel you in the wind
And this is me, it's my life
I need you close to sing, it's the same beginning

Gone away,
It's the same old, same old song
Gone away,
It's my whole life in words

Gone away,
It's the same old, same old song
Gone away,
It's my whole life

And I can't sing,
And I don't know ,
I'll fall,
I'm gone,
And I can't sing,
And I don't know.
I'll fall,
I'm gone,

Gone away,
It's the same old, same old song
Gone away,
It's my whole life in words

Gone away,
It's the same old, same old song
Gone away,
It's my whole life

Today.

Ever feel like you're not good at living?

That's the feeling today.

It's a great feeling.

I approve this message.

I draw them on wreckless,
Etched in,
Scratched in like resurrection.
Your sins are killing you and you can bet they'll get me too.
I've got to give some to get some.

Mining in the river, standing in the rain.
Down on your knees while you heave at the drain.

You can lead a whore to water and you can bet she'll drink and follow orders.
And I said, Is this what you wanted?
Is this what you needed?
Give it some more time.

Tonight I'm going to a party, but it's already started without me.
I aced philosophy and mastered the art of spiritual phrase.
I've got to give some to get some.

The disco ball spins away another year.
I wish you a broken heart and a happy new year.
Only three words come to mind (true till death)

You can lead a whore to water and you can bet she'll drink and follow orders.
And I said, Is this what you wanted?
Huh?
Is this what you needed?
Give it some more time.
Some more time.
Yugh.

Ooh.. Restrain.
Where would you fear would you be?
How the fuck can I please and then clean?

Only three words come to mind [true till death].
Pray when you did what you said.
Death makes you kneel at the great.
All I had to say I did say.
When all you do is scream at the drain.
You F- ugh.

You can lead a whore to water and you can bet she'll drink and follow orders.
And I said, Is this what you wanted?
Cunt, Is this what you needed?
Give it some more time.

the soul, the screen, the smoke in between.

Sorry for the lack of communication.

I have been busy.

I’ve been moving into the new place. I stayed there all weekend. It’s sweet!!

It really feels like home there & I’m really enjoying it!!

Umm had to have work done on the car. Cost more than I thought sucks but what can you do right??

For Valentines Day, I did two things worthy of note.

1. I took my valentine Lily to go see Coraline. She loved it times 1000000 and I did too. It’s a cute movie!! This weekend we’re going ice skating. She’s a cutie and deserves to have a lot of fun.

2. I threw away a lot of pictures, notes, letters, cards, toys, books, and some champagne flutes. Anything that is a reminder of Michelle & I, I got rid of. The ring is now at the bottom of the river. I thought it deserved to rest somewhere beautiful. It’s a new time in my life. I don’t need to be held back & all the negative energies are not welcome in my new home. Plus Nick told me to stop being a pussy.....so I took his advice.

What’s next?? Ummm Mario is a piece of shit. He’s a petty, chicken shit smuck.

Next.

I really like my neighbors!! They are the coolest people. Last night Phil & Luca got me to join World of Warcraft!! It’s SOOOO much fun!! It’s cool because Tommy, Phil, Luca & I party up & play. Also, Ashley joined WOW too!! Hella funny!!

I should be done with a new song soon. I have a little writers block but I’ll figure it out.

Now….Enjoy The Twilight Singers – Bonnie Bare. This song was played really loud on repeat Saturday. It made the mood just right!! Like Coach Taylor says…..

…Clear Eyes, Full Hearts. Can’t loose.

Later friends.

-J



there was a rapture, so i can never see you anymore
nightmares believable, walking into sweet oblivion
i'm not saying it's easy, to feel it all nor not at all
when somebody say, lay down your gun
and when you lay it down, get ready to run

situation dire, it's gone away, it's not going away
since you're wasting time again, my friend
on bonnie brae, on bonnie brae

if she's your master, then get down on your knees and beg for more
i'm not saying it's easier, to live your life like her little whore

'cuz when you play with fire, take your fate, it's not going away
situation dire, on bonnie brae
on bonnie brae, on bonnie brae

the soul, the screen, the smoke in between
the rise, the fall, the thrill of...
the first, the last, the sins of the past
the burn, the fade, the skin that you've flayed
come see, the sun, kill everyone
but me, i'm free indubitably

"the most powerful of lights"

"In fearful day, in raging night, with strong hearts full, our souls ignite! When all seems lost in the War of Light, look to the stars, for hope burns bright!"
-- Blue Lantern Corps oath




"At the end of the war with the Sinestro Corps, former Guardians of the Universe Ganthet and Sayd used the emotion of hope to create the first blue power ring, thus creating the Blue Lantern Corps. The first Blue Lantern was shown to be an alien named Saint Walker, who came to the aid of the Green Lanterns after they were ambushed by Atrocitus and the Red Lanterns. The second Blue Lantern was shown to be Warth, an elephant-like creature who was selected by Saint Walker.[34] A blue power ring has the ability to heal wounds, neutralize the corruptive effects of a red power ring and can recharge a green power ring to twice its maximum power level.[28] A blue power ring feeds off the hope of other beings, as shown when Saint Walker and Warth use their rings to reverse the age of a dying sun 8.6 billion years and their rings feed off the hope of the billions of alien beings who witnessed the act. The home planet of the Blue Lanterns and the Blue Power Battery is the planet Odym, a beautiful and diverse planet orbiting the star Polaris. The emotion of hope is described as "the most powerful of lights" by Saint Walker, implying that the Blue Lantern's rings are the most powerful yet."





I think I would be a Blue Lantern.

Feels good don't it??

Ahh....slow days at work....they are sometimes nice.

Tonight more boxing things up & moving.

Looking forward to class tonight, I like being punched in the face. Its weird...but it makes me feel more alive. Makes me feel like...some kind of rush. I rather enjoy it. Tim says it’s a primitive instinct inside men that sometimes needs to be worked.

I put together my “custom” work out plan for tonight. It goes as follows.

1. Warm up: Leg raises forward, back, side to side 30sec each position.
2. Cardio circuit time.
a. Start with 50 low jumping jacks & 100 normal.
b. Bag work (wearing 50lbs weight vest & 5lbs wrist weights):
i. 15 sec all out.
ii. Rest for 5 sec.
iii. 30 sec all out.
iv. Rest for 5 sec.
v. 1 min all out
vi. Repeat x 3
c. Next move to 50lb throwing bag.
i. A low controlled squat, pick up & slam bag down.
ii. After bag has been slammed, sprawl & to knee each side of the body.
iii. This is done for 2 one min intervals (30 sec break in between).
3. Abb, Arms & resistance work
a. Done with a partner. 75 Crunches with a 10lb Medicine ball. Partners stand 3ft back toss’s ball. You catch wile you do the crunch, come down & let the ball touch the ground over you’re head. Crunch up & toss back.
b. 25 Hammer/ 25 slap crunches. Wile crunching up, partner hits your abb.
c. 50 squat’s with 10lbs Medicine ball. Make sure to keep head up & back straight. Bend the knees.
d. 10 pull ups hands inward. Center with chin.
e. 10 pull ups hands facing out. Shoulder with apart.
f. 12 each arm resistance cord. Pull down to hip starting from center chest
g. 15 heal raises.
4. Boxing time.
5. Stretch out the body for 15 mins.

Try this & let me know how you feel after.

Have a good day fuckers.

- j




lead me around
nurse my broken wing
with all the promises
you can never honor
I just dont care enough
to react to vain attempts
sent only to perpetuate
one's selfish little world
you wont see what ive become
youll wait and watch and still
youre only let down
a violent reaction
struggling only to keep myself alive
now here I stand
for nothing no one at all
I lead you down
begging to touch you in the cold
you give me a reason
I will not be the one
through all the nonsense
there is a constant
you wont see what ive become
youll wait and watch and still
youre only let down
cause this feeling
has dawned the face of you
a violent reaction
struggling only to keep myself alive
you wont see what ive become
cause this feeling
has dawned the face of you
a violent reaction
struggling only to keep myself alive

AHH Real Monsters.

Today is slow & wet.

Lame.

Gonna do alot of packing this afternoon/evening.

EXCITING.

Kitchen has been painted....looks super good!!

Lets see.....anything else??

ummm...can't think of anything sooooo take it away Jigga Man.

Ooh-Oh, And I'm just waiting till the shine wears off...

I feel pretty god damn good lately. Nothing to complain about really.

Good new is I got my new apartment!! FUCK YEAH!!! Time to turn in the 30 day notice & start moving shit!! I’m so ready to get the fuck out of my old place and into the new one!! I’m super excited. I also got a new car. Well….not new but new to me. Thanks Mew for the help!! Been spending time with Scott & Jill. She’s a super fun chick. Lucky bastard!! Been good thou, getting my swagger back. Fuck the past, time to show em all what having the inferno is all about. Fuck whoever/whatever gets in my way. You will be out of it; I’ll make sure of that.

Being true to my moniker, living with this intensity is a blessing and curse. But its time for some good. I’m ready life;

I’ve learned a few things.

I do not need to lie to myself to make it thru a day. I’m stronger than you, stronger than most people around, maybe not in body but heart & mind.

I got you beat.

Let’s see what else?? I have a knee injury that won’t seem to heal. I’m going to have an x ray done. I need to see what the damage is & how to rehab it.

Ummm….what else. Heroes, Friday Night Lights & Battlestart have been badass!! I really enjoy all 3 of them right now. I also just started watching Dead like Me. God damn is this show great!!! I love it.

Big game for the Sharks against Boston tonight, I’m looking forward to watching it. Go team teal!!!

Peace you sick twisted freaks.

-j

Take it away Hova.

This is a personal statement song. Yes it’s like that thank you very much, FUCK YOU very much.



Just because I'm losing
Doesn't mean I'm lost
Doesn't mean I'll stop
Doesn't mean I'm in a cross

Just because I'm hurting
Doesn't mean I'm hurt
Doesn't mean I didn't get what I deserve
No better and no worse

I just got lost
Every river that I've tried to cross
And every door I ever tried was locked
Ooh-Oh, And I'm just waiting till the shine wears off...

You might be a big fish
In a little pond
Doesn't mean you've won
'Cause along may come
A bigger one

And you'll be lost
Every river that you try to cross
Every gun you ever held went off
Ooh-Oh, And I'm just waiting till the firing stops
Ooh-Oh, And I'm just waiting till the shine wears off
Ooh-Oh, And I'm just waiting till the shine wears off
Ooh-Oh, And I'm just waiting till the shine wears off...

.......puff.....

....i hate music sometimes.

like right now.....

Drain the Amnesty.

Man glad last week is over.

On to hopefully a better one.

Good Super bowl yesterday & the Office right after was fucking FUNNY!!! The fucking cat falling out of the vent is classic.

Been doing pretty well lately. Just remembering to breathe and have fun.

The only thing is this anger likes to rear its ugly head at weird times lately. I’m struggling not to bite everyone’s head off cause I want to. I think a lot of it has to do with new emotions (FYI not about any of you so fuck you. Lol jk.) I’m working thru. New situations, people, ECT. I just need to breathe & keep up with the training. The knee is feeling a lot better so I can start running again. Well got to consult the trainer first.

It should be fine. Better be fine.

On to the music…..I m going with two songs cause….well …I can.

Norma Jean – Amnesty Please



The Distillers - Drain the Blood

I THINK I'M IN LOVE!!

......MAN OH MAN!!

Just and FYI.

I love Scott & Jill; thanks for the awsome night!!

I had a blast and hope to go jumping out of a plane with you guys soon!!

I feel it is a needed experience.

peace.

-j

"To face the loss of the good thing that I have found"

WOW.

just shut up.

WOW!

Way to tug them heart strings.

OH SHIT THEY ARE BACK!!!

NEW GLASSJAW!!! BITTER, RAGE, MALICE AT ITS BEST!! JUST WHAT I LIKE!!!

"loosing my grip as I....Then I spit in his fuckin' face."

OMG THE HOTNESS IS TOO MUCH!!

FUCKING RED DRAGONS!!

Knowledge is power.

I want to leave work. There’s nothing to do & i'm tired and didn’t shower this morning. I feel disgusting.

Is it bad that I wanna move & just sit and read all day??

Fuck all of you people; I have Spiderman, Batman, Daredevil and more waiting for me at home.

LOL. I’m just kidding…well…only a little.

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

I wanna be off work god damn it.

I need to pee.

Bye.

-j

Enjoy some OP IVY!! Sing along.

Something breaks inside of you
With the spectacle of all the shows
With fifteen fights and your six bucks
has gone up some promoters nose
Jaded eyes see clearly but only half of whats there
Good old days are left behind whats left is boredom and despair
But sometimes every once in a while
Its beautiful I would say, I wouldn't have it any other way
If I said different it would be a lie
What was once rebellion is now clearly just a social sect
But are you just upset because your own social clique has left
Leave when you want because I know that someday I will too
But I wont burn my bridges and be just another jaded fool

REVIEW: Spiderman: One More Day.

Hello,

I finished Spiderman One More Day last night. So everyone I know who reads comics (or at least follows them) has said what a huge pile of shit this book is. I haft to disagree. I not only enjoyed the writing but the whole concept of Peter Parker & Mary Jane giving up there lives together & ending there marriage to save Aunt May's life was really thought out. It sets up a lot of story telling for the future cause you KNOW Marvel will have Peter & MJ “re find” there love. When this happens it’s going to be a HUGE deal in the Marvel universe. I know it will be special for me when I do read the “re finding” each other story line. In a few years it’s going to make me smile.

Now if you want an action packed, fighting story…this is NOT for you. This story is a drama/story telling focused book. Very little in the form of action, in fact the only battle lasts maybe 2 pages between Iron Man & Spiderman.

The art is really well done & looks nice but I do have a complaint. MJ looks silly to me. I just don’t like the way her face is done. Aunt May looks very creppy too. Kinda freaked me out a lil bit.

One thing I do as a reader is put me in the heroes’ shoes. I do this with almost every story I read & how I can relate. Also depends on what’s going on in my life determines what I read. With that in mind, now to the question; what would you do for one more day?? Me personally…I would have let the old women die. LOL. I’m an asshole I know but Aunt May would have wanted me too. She would have wanted MJ to be by my side & to let her move on into the after life. She would have said “Peter, I want you & MJ to be happy. I want you to be in love”. That’s what I think.

But this is Peter Parker & he will never let Aunt May go (not if he has something to say about it).

I look forward to reading Brand New Day (the following story). I would love to one day write the next chapter of Peter & Mary Jane’s life. Spiderman is a character I have always related to more than a lot of other hero’s. I take Spiderman very seriously & love his world. Some of my favorite memories as a kid were reading Spiderman @ my moms in the backyard hanging out with my only buddy, my dog.

So the verdict is in: 4 out of 5 stars.

Peace.

-J

Now keeping inline with the Spiderman topic; here’s a song written for the Spiderman 3 soundtrack. This song is perfect for this One More Day theme & makes it a really nice addition. I love this song and you will to.

Today has been a doozie.

1. Knee is really sore.
2. Had nightmares about zombie/hybrid people eating my loved ones.
3. Over slept.
4. Late to work.
5. No car: dove Nick’s truck.
6. Waited 15mins to put air in a tire.
7. Got pulled over: got out of ticket with warning.
8. Finally got to work.

I have never wanted to disappear more.

Here’s to a better day.

-J

Take is away boys.

john smash.

Today I'm angry.

I dont know why. But I really want to destroy.

I hate feeling this angry.

Tonight's fighting is needed. I will unload it.

Need to talk to Del about it...it worries me.

Weekend review.

Saturday went to Berkeley with LJ & Lily. We walked around, hung out with Kirk & went to some book shops. Then we headed over to the comic shop. Lj & I didn’t realize that we were in there for over an hour....Lily was well behaved. Bought comic.

Last night I went on a date. Was out pretty late, but it was worth it. I had a lot of fun & I did some new things. We walked around the square in her city & shopped in a discount book store. Sadly they had a huge bin of comics & I had to look thru all of it!! Bought more comics. She was a good sport about it. Walked, drank coffee & went back to her apt. Talked & laughed about some past regrets. It was very nice.

I’m also mailing my application for the apartment I want today. I really hope everything works out well & I can get it!!!

Well gotta go.

Got comic’s to read.

-J

Oh yeah.....

Hi.

Been doing really good lately. Been spending a lot of time with some good buddies and meeting new people. This weekend I'm going to a photo shoot who a young lady I have gotten to know lately. She’s a very talented photo-gal. She too has a child, she’s 5 and she’s very adorable. Should be a lot fun! I’m excited about it.

I’ve been really going out & trying new thing. Talking to people, breaking out of my comfort zone. I have been having a lot of fun & enjoying my time as of late. I’m starting my hockey program, UPING the pace on my boxing training, going to be starting yoga soon, getting a truck, hanging out with some cute lady’s & enjoying getting to know my skin again.

I have also been spending a lot of time with my mother. She & I have both really grown & our relationship is a lot stronger. I’m really thankful for it!!!

I also really hate the NHL All Star break. A week without hockey is killer & the All Star game stinks. The Sharks are still rolling on!! I LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE IT!!! It’s nice being the best BUT the Sharks need to prove that they can rock N roll in the playoffs. I think this is our year!!

Getting my own apartment!!! Very SOON!! I can’t wait to get out on my own & away from that shity place. The place is really nice and should be perfect for Lily & I. PLUS I can have a small pet. i.e. my Bulldog. I’m fucking pumped!!

Till next time,

-J