I THINK I'M IN LOVE!!

......MAN OH MAN!!

Just and FYI.

I love Scott & Jill; thanks for the awsome night!!

I had a blast and hope to go jumping out of a plane with you guys soon!!

I feel it is a needed experience.

peace.

-j

"To face the loss of the good thing that I have found"

WOW.

just shut up.

WOW!

Way to tug them heart strings.

OH SHIT THEY ARE BACK!!!

NEW GLASSJAW!!! BITTER, RAGE, MALICE AT ITS BEST!! JUST WHAT I LIKE!!!

"loosing my grip as I....Then I spit in his fuckin' face."

OMG THE HOTNESS IS TOO MUCH!!

FUCKING RED DRAGONS!!

Knowledge is power.

I want to leave work. There’s nothing to do & i'm tired and didn’t shower this morning. I feel disgusting.

Is it bad that I wanna move & just sit and read all day??

Fuck all of you people; I have Spiderman, Batman, Daredevil and more waiting for me at home.

LOL. I’m just kidding…well…only a little.

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

I wanna be off work god damn it.

I need to pee.

Bye.

-j

Enjoy some OP IVY!! Sing along.

Something breaks inside of you
With the spectacle of all the shows
With fifteen fights and your six bucks
has gone up some promoters nose
Jaded eyes see clearly but only half of whats there
Good old days are left behind whats left is boredom and despair
But sometimes every once in a while
Its beautiful I would say, I wouldn't have it any other way
If I said different it would be a lie
What was once rebellion is now clearly just a social sect
But are you just upset because your own social clique has left
Leave when you want because I know that someday I will too
But I wont burn my bridges and be just another jaded fool

REVIEW: Spiderman: One More Day.

Hello,

I finished Spiderman One More Day last night. So everyone I know who reads comics (or at least follows them) has said what a huge pile of shit this book is. I haft to disagree. I not only enjoyed the writing but the whole concept of Peter Parker & Mary Jane giving up there lives together & ending there marriage to save Aunt May's life was really thought out. It sets up a lot of story telling for the future cause you KNOW Marvel will have Peter & MJ “re find” there love. When this happens it’s going to be a HUGE deal in the Marvel universe. I know it will be special for me when I do read the “re finding” each other story line. In a few years it’s going to make me smile.

Now if you want an action packed, fighting story…this is NOT for you. This story is a drama/story telling focused book. Very little in the form of action, in fact the only battle lasts maybe 2 pages between Iron Man & Spiderman.

The art is really well done & looks nice but I do have a complaint. MJ looks silly to me. I just don’t like the way her face is done. Aunt May looks very creppy too. Kinda freaked me out a lil bit.

One thing I do as a reader is put me in the heroes’ shoes. I do this with almost every story I read & how I can relate. Also depends on what’s going on in my life determines what I read. With that in mind, now to the question; what would you do for one more day?? Me personally…I would have let the old women die. LOL. I’m an asshole I know but Aunt May would have wanted me too. She would have wanted MJ to be by my side & to let her move on into the after life. She would have said “Peter, I want you & MJ to be happy. I want you to be in love”. That’s what I think.

But this is Peter Parker & he will never let Aunt May go (not if he has something to say about it).

I look forward to reading Brand New Day (the following story). I would love to one day write the next chapter of Peter & Mary Jane’s life. Spiderman is a character I have always related to more than a lot of other hero’s. I take Spiderman very seriously & love his world. Some of my favorite memories as a kid were reading Spiderman @ my moms in the backyard hanging out with my only buddy, my dog.

So the verdict is in: 4 out of 5 stars.

Peace.

-J

Now keeping inline with the Spiderman topic; here’s a song written for the Spiderman 3 soundtrack. This song is perfect for this One More Day theme & makes it a really nice addition. I love this song and you will to.

Today has been a doozie.

1. Knee is really sore.
2. Had nightmares about zombie/hybrid people eating my loved ones.
3. Over slept.
4. Late to work.
5. No car: dove Nick’s truck.
6. Waited 15mins to put air in a tire.
7. Got pulled over: got out of ticket with warning.
8. Finally got to work.

I have never wanted to disappear more.

Here’s to a better day.

-J

Take is away boys.

john smash.

Today I'm angry.

I dont know why. But I really want to destroy.

I hate feeling this angry.

Tonight's fighting is needed. I will unload it.

Need to talk to Del about it...it worries me.

Weekend review.

Saturday went to Berkeley with LJ & Lily. We walked around, hung out with Kirk & went to some book shops. Then we headed over to the comic shop. Lj & I didn’t realize that we were in there for over an hour....Lily was well behaved. Bought comic.

Last night I went on a date. Was out pretty late, but it was worth it. I had a lot of fun & I did some new things. We walked around the square in her city & shopped in a discount book store. Sadly they had a huge bin of comics & I had to look thru all of it!! Bought more comics. She was a good sport about it. Walked, drank coffee & went back to her apt. Talked & laughed about some past regrets. It was very nice.

I’m also mailing my application for the apartment I want today. I really hope everything works out well & I can get it!!!

Well gotta go.

Got comic’s to read.

-J

Oh yeah.....

Hi.

Been doing really good lately. Been spending a lot of time with some good buddies and meeting new people. This weekend I'm going to a photo shoot who a young lady I have gotten to know lately. She’s a very talented photo-gal. She too has a child, she’s 5 and she’s very adorable. Should be a lot fun! I’m excited about it.

I’ve been really going out & trying new thing. Talking to people, breaking out of my comfort zone. I have been having a lot of fun & enjoying my time as of late. I’m starting my hockey program, UPING the pace on my boxing training, going to be starting yoga soon, getting a truck, hanging out with some cute lady’s & enjoying getting to know my skin again.

I have also been spending a lot of time with my mother. She & I have both really grown & our relationship is a lot stronger. I’m really thankful for it!!!

I also really hate the NHL All Star break. A week without hockey is killer & the All Star game stinks. The Sharks are still rolling on!! I LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE IT!!! It’s nice being the best BUT the Sharks need to prove that they can rock N roll in the playoffs. I think this is our year!!

Getting my own apartment!!! Very SOON!! I can’t wait to get out on my own & away from that shity place. The place is really nice and should be perfect for Lily & I. PLUS I can have a small pet. i.e. my Bulldog. I’m fucking pumped!!

Till next time,

-J

God Damn this is a HOT HOT HOT song!!!

Ejnoy!!!

And so I have simply decided to dislike you now.

Man I love this track. Speaks volumes louder than 11.

One More Day

The stakes have never been higher for Peter Parker. At his darkest hours - and he's had plenty - Peter has always had one shoulder to lean on, one person who'd remind him who he is, who he was and who he can be. Now, he's about to lose that person. What would he do...what would you do, if you only had "One More Day?"

Interesting. I like the idea of the loss Pete must face.

This has been added to my cart.

West coast is the best coast!!

Sharks 6. Red Wings 5.

This game was amazing. This game will be a classic for years to come.

This is why the San Jose Sharks are the BEST team in the NHL. We are leading the league!!

Tonight we proved the even the mighty Detroit Red Wings can be moved aside.

Look at the teams that were in the cup last year.

The Penguins are failing and not looking good. They are a disaster right now. If the playoff's were to start tomorrow they wouldn't be in the mix. Oh how the mighty have fallen.

Look at the Wing. Detroit is one hell of a good team don't get me wrong but MOVE aside....the top dogs are in town.

Man the Sharks are flying this season and even when they loose still put on good efforts. Some times the have mental farts but every team has them.

Wow....I hoped you all watched tonight's game. It was a preview of the semifinals.

GO SHARKS!!

Its like that thank you very much, fuck you very much.

Hi,

Lazy day today. I went had breakfast w my mom & lily. It was nice. Cleaned my room & living room. Washed a lot of clothes.

I went ice skating today. Had a lesson & watched Pee Wee hockey for a little wile too. It was fun. Those kids were flying on the ice. It was funny. I slammed into the boards pretty hard tonight. It was funny. For some reason I decided to go as fast I could...(I was wanting to break my skates in with style)...I was flying along the right wing & went to stop. But when I did, I spun back & went back first into the boards. Man it was loud and everyone one the ice was staring at me like I was nuts. It was funny.

Have a good night you sick twisted freaks.

-j

Annoyed big time.

Why do people need to know my business?

song of the day: Friday 1/16.

the gaslight anthem - meet me by the rivers edge.

Only God Knows Why

Lately I have felt very disconnected from a lot of people.

I think it’s due to the fact that I’m in a very venerable point in my life. I’m still in the process of getting up from those knock out punches. Might take some time but I will stand up & start to fight again. I live to win. I will win.

I have been really trying to find myself over the last few weeks.

Still I’m lost.

Regaining who I am is a huge challenge….something I’m not really knowing how to do.

I want my own space….I want somewhere to call John’s. I want to not be in that god damn apartment any more. I’m sick & tired of the memories that fucking room holds. Every night I get sick to my stomach by the thought of trying to sleep there. If it were up to me I would burn it down, walk away and NEVER look back. If it were up to me, no one would see/hear from me again. Lily & I would just go start somewhere new; away from this god forsaken town.

Cause even the memories are turned up too loud.

-j

Now this is what I'm talking about.

John Remember this. Watch when needed.

Friday Night Lights

Fast foward to the 2:21 point and watch until the end!! Then just fast foward to the 5:33 point.

GOD...I love this show!!

Amnesty Please

Astounding! Let us consider our current state
A string of events and I tied the first knot
You´re an anchor and I won't be drug down
Because no matter what

Burn this to ashes
Ashes and framework

A dying man needs to die, as a tired man needs to sleep
And there comes a time when it is wrong, as well as useless, to resist

Burn this to ashes
Ashes and framework

You are forgiven
But this just does not mean that what was done is okay
Trust is destroyed for you and me
What's done is done and this will never be right
The sun has gone dry
So we can sleep forever

You can be free to turn your back
I'm not holding a gun

Trust has been destroyed for you and me
What's done is done and this will never be right

The sun has gone dry
So we can sleep forever

Burn this to ashes
Ashes and framework

Trust has been destroyed for you and me
What's done is done and this will never be right

The sun has gone dry
So we can sleep forever

And I've been so bitter towards you
And I've been so bitter

I've been so bitter towards you

Maybe next year I’ll reappear.

Last night was cool. Hung out with Scott, Tim, Dave…among others. Despite the fact that Dave is moving, it was cool.

Sexual encounters?? Maybe.

Came home early, watched a little of Lord of the Rings & slept good. First time in a long time. I can get the used to it.

Working on more music this weekend & starting skating lessons. My skates should be arriving today!! I’m excited.

Finally I get to go back to class tonight. Fucking cold’s suck!!

CLEAR EYES, FULL HEART, CAN’T LOOSE!!!

Peace,

-j

Long live GJ!! Truth is the song!!

Will we ever be the same? well my answer is NO!!.

Just when you think you get away....you find out you didn't :/

GOD DAMNIT!! I want out soooo FUCKING BAD!!! I WANT OUT!!

I fucking can't stand the thoughts anymore.

I wanna punch someones face in. I know who...but you can't know.

Sing it Rob!!



-j

AMEN BROTHER!!

Ghosts of music past.

Ok so I have been surfing youtube for the past hour or so. I have been looking up all kinds of shit....just bored.

So I was watching a Get Up Kid video...somehow I made my way to this.

It's funny I came across it. It's very fitting & no wonder I used to like this band. When I was like 15/16ish. If Scott or Erik read this....they are going to give me SOOOOOOOOOOOO much shit. But I can take it (just don't be to hard on me).

Hear the tunes...they fit like pieces of a puzzle.

Enjoy.

This is WAY GOOD!!!

Ebay time.

Hello,

Lazy day watching all of Friday Night Lights season 1. It was nice.

I hate selling things on ebay.

BUT I have alot of useless shit I need to get rid of. Sometime this week I need to put alot of action fugures, comics, Jack/Sally champagne flutes, books, some music gear & some old band shirts.

Dealing with ebay is a pain in the ass but what can I do about?? Nothing at all. So I'm not gonna worry about it.

Gonna go eat.

Have a good night you sick twisted freaks.

-j

My anthem

I've got another confession to make
I'm no fool
Everyone's got their chains to break
Holdin' you

Were you born to resist or be abused?
Is someone getting the best, the best, the best, the best of you?
Is someone getting the best, the best, the best, the best of you?

Are you gone and onto someone new?
I needed somewhere to hang my head
Without your noose
You gave me something that I didn't have
But had no use
I was too weak to give in
Too strong to lose
My heart is under arrest again
But I break loose
My head is giving me life or death
But I can't choose
I swear I'll never give in
I refuse

Is someone getting the best, the best, the best, the best of you?
Is someone getting the best, the best, the best, the best of you?
Has someone taken your faith?
Its real, the pain you feel
You trust, you must
Confess
Is someone getting the best, the best, the best, the best of you?
Oh...

Oh...Oh...Oh...Oh...

Has someone taken your faith?
Its real, the pain you feel
The life, the love
You die to heal
The hope that starts
The broken hearts
You trust, you must
Confess

Is someone getting the best, the best, the best, the best of you?
Is someone getting the best, the best, the best, the best of you?

I've got another confession my friend
I'm no fool
I'm getting tired of starting again
Somewhere new

Were you born to resist or be abused?
I swear I'll never give in
I refuse

Is someone getting the best, the best, the best, the best of you?
Is someone getting the best, the best, the best, the best of you?
Has someone taken your faith?
Its real, the pain you feel
You trust, you must
Confess
Is someone getting the best, the best, the best, the best of you?
Oh...

This is me.

this reminds me of all the bad things. The loss of Tyler, Michelle, myself, my faith.

Gob bless Friday night.

God Bless Fridays.

Who Dis??

LOL.

Man I feel good lately. Tired today but when is this something new??

I'm officaly hooked on Friday Night Lights. This show is hella good and nice/easy to get lost in. I really like the acting and the story line is BADASS!!

Big night for the Sharks tonight. Always makes for a good game when we battle the Oilers. I think we will win.

I'm hitting the training hard lately. Really hard!! It feels good to do so! Also back to eating helthy. Fuck the smoking, booze, all that bull shit. Train strong, to be strong. I'm getting a pair of hockey skates today! Gonna start traning for tryouts in the spring.

Coach Taylor puts it best, "Clear eye's. Full hearts. Can't Loose!!"

Take care you sick twisted freaks.

-j

Some morning Slug for you.

News from the verse.

Hello,

Been a wile but I have a quick one for you. I have been trying to catch up on sleep and rest.

Monday was nice; I went to Phil & Luca’s apt for some hang out time. It was nice. I really appreciate them oh so kind.

Yesterday I was so worried about my “honorary son”. He’s been pretty sick & yesterday was scary. I’m glad he’s feeling better.

Last night was filled with Therapy, Sharks losing, X Files & a lot of sleep.

I have been really bored & frustrated lately. I don’t like it. Last night a big breakthrough was made. Thanks Del; it was amazing!! Also, I have stopped drinking & smoking. I have drank nearly everyday for the past 2 weeks! Its time I define who I am more. I need to keep living healthy to feel healthy. I need my mind to lose some control & let my body take over. Cowboy up John!!

Red Dragons!! It’s a new day for me. It’s going to be one hell of a good one.


Peace.

-j

Some Thrice for you. Take it to heart like I do.

Great start to 2009. UPDATE.

I'm trying to find words to express what it is I'm feeling inside.

I can't.

Loneliness doesn't cut it. Sadness...nope.

I don't know how to put it.

So I will let a few frengers do it for me.

Cause that's all I have left. Frengers.

Update: I hate insomnia.

This sums me up. For now.

Truth is art.

The room filled up with water
and the roar of the crowd died down,
they didn't hold their breath,
they just waited to drown.
Now I'm just the ghost in the corner that nobody knows.
I'm just a chill in the air that comes and cuts you to the bone.
I've never seen it shine so bright before,
I stumble blind into the light of it all.
The walls of this city are all cold metal and stone,
but we're nothing permanent
we're just soft skin and bones.
I'm just the pins and the needles attacking your toes.
I'm just a message you saved in your phone
a long, long time ago
where I'm singing how I've never seen it shine so bright before,
I stumbled blind into the light,
the light of it all.
You've never seen it shine,
so hard before -
You'd crumble underneath the weight,
the weight of it all.
I'm always with you.
I never left you alone.

Blah blah emo blah.

So lets get one thing straight. I'm drinking. Now the mind wonders when you drink.

So the question I have is faith. What is it? What dose that mean?

To me faith is simple. Even threw the darkest times, belief in yourself & in what ever god you believe in will make you, get you threw the hardest nights. See we get tested every day. Tested with choices we make, situations that kill us ECT. You know the drill. Life happens. Sometimes we understand why....most times we don't.

I'm sitting alone...with a glass of rum, a beer, some smokes & watching Friday Night Lights. Lonely like a mother fucker & with a heavy heart. Do I want to be? No. I wanna be with people I can't be with. I wanna be with my family. All of them. But I can't be right now. So whats next?

My name is John Morales. I don't know what the future holds for me. But I believe in my self & my god. He will lead me on the right path. I will make it threw whatever this world/life has in store for me.

My eyes are wide open.

I hope when you read this you will have faith, in yourself & like I said whatever god you think is true.

Below is something that I drunkenly tried to recite the night my friend, Tyler died. On May 25 2008. This is the first time I have talked about let alone looked, read, or was strong enough to face.

I hope it helps.

"One night I dreamed I was walking along the beach with the Lord. Many scenes from my life flashed across the sky.

In each scene I noticed footprints in the sand. Sometimes there were two sets of footprints, other times there was one only.

This bothered me because I noticed that during the low periods of my life, when I was suffering from anguish, sorrow or defeat, I could see only one set of footprints, so I said to the Lord,

“You promised me Lord,
that if I followed you, you would walk with me always. But I have noticed that during the most trying periods of my life there has only been one set of footprints in the sand. Why, when I needed you most, have you not been there for me?”

The Lord replied, “The years when you have seen only one set of footprints, my child, is when I carried you.”

This one's for me.

Hello.

I'm trying to decide if I should get a new tattoo. I have the idea and the spot for it. See that's the problem. The spot. I want it on my neck. I will most likely do it anyway. Fuck it right? You only live once, RED DRAGONS!!! LOL.

I want 3 Ravens flying & weaving in between the ravens; there's a banner that reads "Fly Hard. Fly True". A little motivation/reminder piece. Too let me know to stay on track. I've wanted one there for a long time. Now I think it's time to make it happen.

Nick say's he will hold my hand when I got to get it lazered off. LOL. Dick head. He most likely will be there. LOL.

Nicole says I'm a big dreamer. I wonder what that means. "Big Dreamer'. Hmmmmm...interesting. I love having her around. She helps me a lot, most of the time she doesn't even know it. It means a lot knowing who/what true friends are. That's not a knock on anyone else. Don't take it that way. I'm just saying; these people will be apart of my life for a long time, I can tell. She and I are going to start running every morning. Even when I'm a hung over mess. (Side note: That's been a lot lately....change that).

Still trying to decide if I want to move or not. Part of me want's to stay with Nick & Nicole. Cause I love them & I love Mag. He's like my son. I don't think I can stand losing another "honorary son". I love these kid's too much. The Jimmy Eat World line comes to mind:

"I fall asleep with my friends around me,
The only place I know I feel safe;
I'm gonna call this home".

The other part of me wants to go....live in the east bay. Hmmm....more sleeping on it will help. The Rancid line comes to mind:

"Reconcile to the relief
consumed in sacred ground for me
there wasn't always a place to go
but there was always an urgent need to belong

all these bands and
all these people
all these friends and
we were equals but
what you gonna do
when everybody goes on without you?"

I will wait & see.

Take care. This song is from the other night. I just love it SOOOOOOOO God damn much. I can't stop bumping it. This time it's the live version.

Enjoy you sick twisted freak.

when you read this. Think of me.

I got a story it's almost finished,
And all I need is someone to tell it to;
Maybe that's you.

Our time is borrowed and spent too freely.
Every minute I have needs to be made up,
But how?
I'm looking for a nice way to say, "I'm out."
I want out.

I fall asleep with my friends around me,
The only place I know I feel safe;
I'm gonna call this home.
The open road is still miles away.
Aint nothing serious,
We still have our fun.
Oh we had it once.

But windows open and close,
That's just how it goes.

Don't it feel like sunshine after all?
The world we love forever, gone.
We're only just as happy
As everyone else seems to think we are.


I'm in love with the ordinary;
I need a simple space
To rest my head,
and everything gets clear.
well I'm a little ashamed for asking
But just a little helps,
It gets me straight again;
Helps me get over it.

It might seem like a dream
But it's real to me.

Don't it feel like sunshine after all?
The world we love forever gone.
We're only just as happy
As everyone else seems to think we are.

You should see the canals are freezing,
You should see me high.
You should just be here,
Be with me here.
It doesn't seem there's hope for me,
I let you down.
But I won't give in now,
Not for any amount.

Don't it feel like sunshine after all?
The world we love forever gone.
We're only just as happy
As everyone else seems to think we are.

God grants you one wish to turn back the time... correct and create Making sense of.

The young stale memories of play the role to your part
Librarian find me the pole the one that kicks your head in
With my own time role your own innocence by
Grab on to my sleeve the one that grabs at your ankle!
Debate to understand that we all have a flaw
Then fail to represent your life as you know it
God grants you one wish to turn back the time... correct and create
Making sense of.

Maria my star, matthew good night
You know, by law, when you'll be forgiven
Maria my star, matthew goodnight
You know, my lord, when you'll be forgiven

So they pulled your confidence down with those verbal discrepancies
Now and then you'll gain what they've lost through a challenge of unpronounced
Pain is only a pulse if you just stop feeling it
You might be able to use the very thing that makes us up

Maria my star, matthew good night
You know, by law, when you'll be forgiven
Maria my star, matthew goodnight
You know, my lord, when you'll be forgiven

Wait, now, here when will you believe?
Me i'm merely asking you to help me when did i say to murder?
Wait, now, here, please hear me out
Time consumer, time consuming, consume me.

Now, Now, You know, Tonight... In the promise you write.
Now, Now, You know, Tonight... In the promise you write.
Now, Now, You know, Tonight... In the promise you write.

I would take this song with me on a desert island!!

This one goes out to people like me & Scott.

I love you buddy. We don't deserve any of this but we are stronger cause of it.

Peace.

I'll have a shot for you.