Thursday, January 15, 2009

Only God Knows Why

Lately I have felt very disconnected from a lot of people.

I think it’s due to the fact that I’m in a very venerable point in my life. I’m still in the process of getting up from those knock out punches. Might take some time but I will stand up & start to fight again. I live to win. I will win.

I have been really trying to find myself over the last few weeks.

Still I’m lost.

Regaining who I am is a huge challenge….something I’m not really knowing how to do.

I want my own space….I want somewhere to call John’s. I want to not be in that god damn apartment any more. I’m sick & tired of the memories that fucking room holds. Every night I get sick to my stomach by the thought of trying to sleep there. If it were up to me I would burn it down, walk away and NEVER look back. If it were up to me, no one would see/hear from me again. Lily & I would just go start somewhere new; away from this god forsaken town.

Cause even the memories are turned up too loud.

-j

No comments: