like a blank post it note.

Hi.

I've been feeling very..I dont know the correct word's to express it. I just know it's different.

I dont know if I like it.

Sometimes I just wish something bigger would happen. Something...I can't explain it.

Why try then?

I just need to go work out...go get it out of me. I won 12 free skate lessions!! Hopefully this time next year I will be on a minor leauge team. Exciting!!

Later.

-J

Song of the day - Killers - All these things that I've done.

just one of those day.

I felt for sure last night
That once we said goodbye
No one else will know these lonely dreams
No one else will know that part of me
I'm still driving away
And I'm sorry every day
I won't always love these selfish things
I won't always live...
Not stopping...

It was my turn to decide
I knew this was our time
No one else will have me like you do
No one else will have me, only you

You'll sit alone forever
If you wait for the right time
What are you hoping for?
I'm here I'm now I'm ready
Holding on tight
Don't give away the end
The one thing that stays mine

Amazing still it seems
I'll be 23
I won't always love what I'll never have
I won't always live in my regrets

Broken Vow

I forgot how much I like Converge....now I remember.

ENJOY!

-j





Those nights we had and the trust we lost
The sleep that fled me and the heart I lost
It all reminds me
Just how callous and heartless the true cowards are
And I write this for the loveless
And for the risks we take
I'll take my love to the grave
As tired and worn it is
I'l take my love to the graave

And I was broken for a long time.

I was broke
I was tired now I'm [bound]
My head is off the ground
For a long time I was so weary
Time will decide, but before
No one loves the nighttime at the door
[Hope she] finds things I've [deemed]
Something between the burning light and the dusty shade

Said I used to think the past was dead and gone
But I was wrong, so wrong
Whatever makes makes you strong, makes you strong
And by time I'm melting into many forms
From the day that I was born
And I know that there is no place to hide
Something between the burning shade and the faded light

And I was broken for a long time
But it's over now
Said I was broken for a long time
But it's over now
Said I was broken for a long time
But it's over now

Yes you, yeah you walk these lonely streets and people stare
People stare
Now some fool just got [near]
And I do pretend
Now I'm free from all the things that saved my friends
And I was [debted] to the end
Now I know I can change the mood
Something between the burning shade and the faded light

And I was broken for a long time
But it's over now, it's over now
Mm it's over now, now, now
It's over now, it's over now.
It's over now, now, now

Said I was broken for a long time
But it's over, but it's over
But it's over, but it's over
But it's over, but it's over
But it's over now, now, now, now
But it's over, love is over
But it's over now
But it's over, love is over
But it's over now, now, now
I was broken for a long time yeah
But it's over, but it's over now yeah
Over now, it's all over, it's over now.

today's song of the day.

I should never think
What's in your heart
What's in our home
So I Won't

You'll learn to hate me
But still call me baby
Oh Love
So call me by my name

And save your soul
save your soul
Before you're too far gone
Before nothing can be done

I'll try to decide where
She'll lie in the end
I ain't got no fight in me
In this whole damn world
Tell you to hold off
You choose to hold on
It's the one thing that I've known

Once I put my coat on
I'm coming out of this all wrong
She's standing outside holding me
Saying oh please
I'm in love
I'm in love

Girl save your soul
Go on save your soul
Before it's too far gone
And before nothing can be done

'Cause without me
You got it all
So hold on
Without me you got it all
So hold on
Without me you got it all
Without me you got it all
So hold on
Without me you got it all
So hold on
Without me you got it all
So hold on
Hold on

I look to the sky where my help comes from.

Good weekend.

Good friends, I like to call them family. Brother came into town. Good to see him...I need him around more.

I have decided to quit drinking & smoking. I have been lazy lately...need to step it up.

Back to the grind....take care of myself. 2 injuries to report, two torn ligaments in my right knee & I pulled my muscle in my left arm. Not the worst injuries....I can still train. Need to be careful tho.

Got a sick bug but I'm getting over it. THANK GOD!

Later fuckers.

-J

The Road And The Damned

Today is the end of the move.

I’m happy & sad @ the same time. So I thought I would express these feeling threw music…if you haven’t noticed I do that a lot. Lol

So this is about today…well…for me anyway.



I believe in the world right in front of me,
but now, along these empty streets
where this curse holds these memories of a man,
you know he's lost.

No time to think about it. No room to breathe.

If I had a way back, I'd ride through the dark and the door
(but please don't wait for me)
because the man you love don't live anymore.
I can't go home again.

Tonight you'll sleep.
You'll feel what might become of me, my dear.
Within these end old days where this longing turns
this man to pray and a love begins to die.

No time to live in the deep, girl,
I'm worth the second chance. (What have I done?!)
No time to think about it, no room to breathe!

If I had a way back, I'd ride through the dark and the door
(but please don't wait)
because the man you love don't live anymore.
I can't go home again.

I believed in the world, once in front of me, well, now that's gone.

If I had the way back, I'd ride through the dark and the door
(but please don't wait for me)
because the man you love don't live anymore.

I can't go home again.

Bye, goodbye. Bye, my dear.

THIS SONG IS THE HOT SHIT!!

Thanks Tony for playing this for me!! Hols Shit is it good!!



Animal Collective - My Girls

Is it much that I feel I need
A solid soul and the blood I bleed
With a little girl, and by my spouse
I only want a proper house

I don't care for fancy things
Or to take part in a precious race
And children cry for the one who has
A real big heart and a father's grace

I don't mean to seem like I care about material things like a social status
I just want four walls and adobe slabs for my girls

Not without a fight!

This weekend was a VERY good weekend!!

Relaxing & calm.

I’m still adjusting to being a weekend Dad….I don’t really like it at al BUT I’m making the best of it. Lily, Phil & I went for ice cream on Saturday. She’s ate a WHOLE cup of ice cream. I was surprised cause she normally only has part of it……BUT she really wanted ice cream all day.

All weekend my two favorite Lifestyle Enthusiasts (Phil & Luca) hung out a lot. Also saw Ashley & Tommie. Love them two peeps.

Saturday I talked to a long lost friend. It’s been YEARS when we talked last. It was REALLY cool to talk to her. Hopefully we can get together & catch up. I have some many fond memories of the random, crazy adventures we would go on. She was always a wild one. It’s funny how life brings people in & out of your life so quickly. Sometimes I don’t understand it but I wont fight it anymore…..It was Grouch who said “Life is more than twice as hard when your fighting the flow. & I can go toe to toe with the man in the mirror but I rather work threw the pain & land in the clear.”

Respect it fuckers.

Going to finish the move today…..KIND of scary still but I’m ready to put that place & everything that was there in the past. Sometime’s when I go into my old room; I feel like screaming “pack your shit & leave, take my memories of her FUCKING with you!!” Oven & over. I was thinking to myself yesterday about how hard it is to leave all those great things behind, to make your own new memories. It’s SOOO exciting to be able to have this time in my life. Yes, it’s scary but I’m happy. I’m ok. Recently I was called a “coward” well those word’s weren’t used but I know what was meant. I’m not a coward. I may be a lot of things but a coward is not one of them. I don’t “run” from situations, I do what is best for me & Lily. That’s all. I step up to the plate & I may strike out but at least I’m honest with myself & everyone around me.

I’m a real man…..so fuck you. 

RED DRAGONS!!!

-j

Peep the new NFG album!! Hella good!!!

New Found Glory - Such A Mess



It's too far back now
To remember just how much you played
A role in causing confusion in my brain
My nerves are tied announce my mind is (?)

Running with the seconds
Recollections of the past
Make me such a mess (such a mess)
I need to pull my self together and let it out
Pull my self together and let it out
Pull my self together and let it out

It's too far back now
To remember just how much you
Took control of the situation
In the first place, everything seemed fine
You followed right along

Losing face with the hours
Photographs of our best moments make me such a mess (such a mess)
I need to pull my self together and let it out

Pull my self together and let it out
Pull my self together and let it out
Pull my self together and let it out
Pull my self together and let it out

It was another night
I'm sinking deeper and I'm out of time
I can't erase you from my mind
(I can't erase you from my mind!)

It was another night
I'm sinking deeper and I'm out of time
(I can't erase you from my mind!)

Oh let it out
Pull my self together and let it out
I've gotta pull my self together

well said...very true.

Stay with me to guide this dream,
Before they bury me.
I'll be waiting up all night for you,
In a nightmare that was made for me.
Stay with me to guide this dream,
Before they bury me.
I'll be waiting up all night for you,
In a nightmare that was made for me

Weight, kind, depression.

It's dark, morbid, some can say too much. But I know you will enjoy loyal readers.

Won’t you?

I can’t wait for Neverender….this child of the fence will be happy!

-j

In the final curtain call,
You left me here with the coldest of feelings,
Weight, kind, depression,
Blessing the floors with the places you've stepped in.

Will they ever measure up,
To the way you left me here by the roadside,
The bloodiest cadaver,
Marked in your words, I'm the joke, I'm the bastard.

Here, wait, so I guess that you knew,
That you're a selfish little whore,
I'm the selfish little whore,
If I had my way I'd crush your face in the door.

This is no beginning, yeah, yeah, yeah,
This is the final cut, open up.
This is no beginning, yeah, yeah, yeah,
This is the final cut, I'm not in love.

Revenge of the words!

It wakes me up and shakes my bones
It makes me miss my friends
You wasted days, I hung my head
I wore these blinders
So I'll hide from you

You can hear the sound
When walls break down
You wasted my days
Building on shaky ground
You can't carry on
When walls break down
Such wasted days
Building on shaky ground

Sitting face to face, tides will rise
Our light is in your eyes
I will be heard, My voice is strong
You shamed yourself
And I'm done with you

This is your life you led
This is my life you bled

I've got bills to pay
Taxman on my tail
Just keep prayin' that
the check's in the mail

There are times it seems
when everything's lost
and I'm moaning, I'm tossed
and I see..

between the river and the ravens I'm fed
between oblivion and the blazes I'm led
So father give me faith, providence and grace
Between the river and ravens I'm fed
Sweet deliver, oh you lift up my head
and lead me in your way

I've grown sick and tired
of trying to stand still
I've learned to let the wind
pull me where it will

Throw myself into
the will of the wait
I can never be great
'til we're free

between the river and the ravens I'm fed
between oblivion and the blazes I'm led
So father give me faith, providence and grace
Between the river and ravens I'm fed
Sweet deliver, oh you lift up my head
and lead me in your way

Although I'm walking through
the valley of the shadow of death
evils all around
It's coming from the right and the left

Trust that I will see
the glory above
Oh, your banner of love
flies over me

between the river and the ravens I'm fed
between oblivion and the blazes I'm led
So father give me faith, providence and grace
Between the river and ravens I'm fed
Sweet deliver, oh you lift up my head
and lead me in your way

"I ain't got no fight in me"

So Phil & Luca have been trying to get me to read Twilight. In turn I refuse to do so.

As we have been hanging out a lot lately, Luca ALWAYS end’s up putting on this song. I didn’t know who it was, what it’s from, nothing about it.

Alas, it’s from that damned Twilight movie but this song is really nice. I feel no sort of attachment at all to it but it’s been stuck in my head. This cat has a really great voice. Alot of soul behind it.

I really like it & I know I’m late to the party but……better late than never.

Thought I’d share.




I should never think
What's in your heart
What's in our home
So I Won't

You'll learn to hate me
But still call me baby
Oh Love
So call me by my name

And save your soul
save your soul
Before you're too far gone
Before nothing can be done

I'll try to decide where
She'll lie in the end
I ain't got no fight in me
In this whole damn world
Tell you to hold off
You choose to hold on
It's the one thing that I've known

Once I put my coat on
I'm coming out of this all wrong
She's standing outside holding me
Saying oh please
I'm in love
I'm in love

Girl save your soul
Go on save your soul
Before it's too far gone
And before nothing can be done

'Cause without me
You got it all
So hold on
Without me you got it all
So hold on
Without me you got it all
Without me you got it all
So hold on
Without me you got it all
So hold on
Without me you got it all
So hold on
Hold on

Wanna drop me, gotta kill me, only way I'ma stop

Ahh….long weekend over, time to try & relax. LOL….yeah right. I don’t really do that much.

Friday was cool the gang stopped by for some beers, I really enjoy having them all near by…..it’s A LOT of fun. Lily is in love with Luca…its pretty cute. She LOVE’S it when he’s around. It’s so cute that everyone LOVE’S it when she’s around.

Saturday, Was at Wonder Con. I worked & just walked around. I didn’t buy anything…..wasn’t really looking to. Can’t afford it. I hung out with Tommy & LJ most of the time. I had a chance to meet a pretty gal…Hmmmm interesting developments. We’ll see where that goes.

Saw Kamecia & Kyle but didn’t get a chance to say hi. I didn’t really want to be a dick/see to the ex…..& I prefer to think she doesn’t exist. I like it better that way. Almost had to thou, almost walked into the line I was working. I just went & took a piss. Figured that my piss is more important these days. Little to mean?? I don’t give a rat’s ass so fuck off.

Sunday, Guys came by. Lily went to her mom’s. I chilled at home had a few beers. Lisa (Mario’s GF) came & picked me up. Went out for a few drinks, the whole gang showed up, Ashley & Tommy, Phil & Luca, Lisa & her sister & myself. Was some fun times. Ashley wants to bring back Wednesday bar nights. I support that. Sounds like fun. I walked home in the rain & loved every moment of it. It was VERY relaxing.

Well gotta run.

Gonna get back to the grind!

-J

DJ DJ by Transplants. My own little personal “motto” song. Live it, Love it, Feel it mother fucker!!




Nobody move, nobody get hurt, they said
Make one wrong move, man, you wake up dead
I exercise my lyrical stylings
And all the while you're dead and gone and forgotten
I said, oh, are they gonna come back for you?
No, aw, the story's sorry but true
Lord, did you really want them to go?
No, oh you're so goddamn cold

We're gonna make it on our own, we don't need anyone
Lord knows we don't need you [x2]

(watch me now)
You got your ear to the street, then this bud's for you
You got my name in your mouth, then this slug's for you
Shotgun, Fast Lane, on the Highway to Hell
Sherm sticks, tall cans, and the powder that sells
Just tryin' to have somethin', and you sit back and laugh
I'ma grab something, I'ma gettin' that half
We came too far now, nowhere we can flop
Wanna drop me, gotta kill me, only way I'ma stop

We got 808 subwoofers in the trunk
Around the world with the Rancid Punx
This is for the misfits, the freaks and the runts
Fuck the motherfuckin' back-stabbin' cunts
Ride's gettin' rough, so I know I better buckle
P U N X tattooed on my knuckles
Hey man, you keep the shackles, cause I am free

We're gonna make it on our own, we don't need anyone
Lord knows we don't need you [x2]

(watch me now)
I heard you're losing your mind, shit, I been lost mine
But I still stay focused through good and bad times
Compare your worst fuckin' day to my best fuckin' night
I bet my last red cent that you couldn't stand the sight
From loss of loved ones to life of drug funds
They counted me out, from what? I'm not done
Give me a chance to shine and I'm a blind the world
Take a stand and be the voice of those who cannot be heard

Find the meaning in the moment.

It's time to weed out the weak, do away with their lives
I see it so clear now, through my open eyes
Stood by your side, you put a knife in my back
Never ever thought it'd be you who would do me like that
But we live and we learn, or so it's said
One thing about you, I can't wait till you're dead
The mistakes I've made won't happen again
Keep my enemies closer than I keep my friends

It's got me fucked up, I just can't let it go
Will we ever be the same? Well my answer is no
Think about your death every goddamn day
Wanna know what I think? This is what I must say
I say we line 'em all up, then we gun 'em all down
Then we all celebrate when they all hit the ground
Don't wake up now, it's gonna be too late
Don't give me that shit about cleaning the slate
You've been at it too long, all your life that I've checked
Now your time's almost up with a noose on your neck
Smile in my face, better watch your back
Two-faced motherfucker gets both jaws cracked