Blah blah emo blah.

So lets get one thing straight. I'm drinking. Now the mind wonders when you drink.

So the question I have is faith. What is it? What dose that mean?

To me faith is simple. Even threw the darkest times, belief in yourself & in what ever god you believe in will make you, get you threw the hardest nights. See we get tested every day. Tested with choices we make, situations that kill us ECT. You know the drill. Life happens. Sometimes we understand why....most times we don't.

I'm sitting alone...with a glass of rum, a beer, some smokes & watching Friday Night Lights. Lonely like a mother fucker & with a heavy heart. Do I want to be? No. I wanna be with people I can't be with. I wanna be with my family. All of them. But I can't be right now. So whats next?

My name is John Morales. I don't know what the future holds for me. But I believe in my self & my god. He will lead me on the right path. I will make it threw whatever this world/life has in store for me.

My eyes are wide open.

I hope when you read this you will have faith, in yourself & like I said whatever god you think is true.

Below is something that I drunkenly tried to recite the night my friend, Tyler died. On May 25 2008. This is the first time I have talked about let alone looked, read, or was strong enough to face.

I hope it helps.

"One night I dreamed I was walking along the beach with the Lord. Many scenes from my life flashed across the sky.

In each scene I noticed footprints in the sand. Sometimes there were two sets of footprints, other times there was one only.

This bothered me because I noticed that during the low periods of my life, when I was suffering from anguish, sorrow or defeat, I could see only one set of footprints, so I said to the Lord,

“You promised me Lord,
that if I followed you, you would walk with me always. But I have noticed that during the most trying periods of my life there has only been one set of footprints in the sand. Why, when I needed you most, have you not been there for me?”

The Lord replied, “The years when you have seen only one set of footprints, my child, is when I carried you.”